CD 10 Update

Well, it seems that the follistim is working! I am so happy to say that my follicles have grown (!) since the last u/s. The biggest follicle is 11.5mm, which is the biggest one I've ever had. (Remember they need to be over 18mm for me to ovulate.) It looks like things are on the right track. My doctor is a little concerned that I have too many that are growing (5 right now are about 10-11mm) and so we are going to decrease our meds a bit for 2 days (we'll take twins, but not quintuplets!). Then we'll return for another u/s and see where we are at.

Current stats:
Biggest follicle: 11.5 (!!!)
Lining: 4.3
Estradiol: 242

I feel real good that my ovaries are finally responding. I'm still nervously optimistic that we'll be able to have success with this cycle, but there's a couple different scenarios that could happen.

A. Two to three follies have growth spurt in next couple days and we get to do our IUI this weekend (my preferred choice--if I actually had a say in the matter!)
B. Two to three follies keep growing at same rate and we are ready to trigger on Sunday...that would mean we couldn't do an IUI (because of clinic closure), so we'd do it the old fashioned way. :) (this would be an ok option too)
C. Follies stop growing. Cancel cycle. (this would be a huge bummer)
D. Too many follies get real big. Cancel cycle (or could possibly convert to IVF, but I don't think we'll be up for that....yet) (this would be a huge bummer too)
E. Follies are almost ready over Christmas, I could take a med to prevent early ovulation, we'd trigger after Christmas, and then get to do an IUI. (this would be ok)

I suppose I could go on with all the different scenarios, but those are the ones that are flying around in my head right now. The important things for me to remember are that 1) I don't have any control over this and 2) I don't have any control over this. So somehow I need to keep myself calm and just know that whatever it will be, it will be. It helps to write it down here so that it is out of my head, and I can let the world wide web worry about it instead.

So please continue to send positive, calming thoughts our way. Thanks for your love and support.

Much love,
Julie

CD 8 update

Quick update today:

Current Stats:
Biggest Follicle: 8.0mm
Lining: 4.7
Estradiol: 110

Things look really pretty good right now. I am feeling good about my estradiol level--it never got this high last cycle...I think the highest it got was 50-something. So I am very hopeful that it is a good sign that my follies will start to grow more quickly. We'll go back for another u/s and b/w Wednesday at 8:00 am.

I have to admit, I'm currently feeling a bit anxious. Because of the Christmas & Christmas Eve clinic closure, I have to be ready to trigger Sat and do an IUI Sunday. That means my follies have to grow 10mm by Saturday. Typical follicle growth is 2mm/day which would mean I'm right on track...The only catch is that my follies have not been typical with their growth in the past. So, here's to hoping for typical behavior! Fortunately Todd has been providing some great comic relief and I"m staying much more calm than last cycle.

Grow follies, grow!!

Love,
Julie

CD 5 Update

We had our cd 5 u/s & b/w today. Everything went well, and I also had a chance to talk to the Nurse Practitioner about that IVF coordinator that we were having a problem with. The ARNP said that if we have our appts after 8am, she'll be there and we won't have to deal w/ the coordinator. So that's what we'll do! Super duper.

Anyhow, here's where we're at:

Current Stats for this cycle:
Biggest Follicle: 4.9
Lining: 2.5
Estradiol: 42

Everything is still pretty tiny, but that's ok. They were a little nervous that my ovaries would "explode" with follicles with this new drug & dose, so they wanted to check earlier than normal. So we'll continue with our follistim and return Monday morning for another u/s & b/w.

On a side note, I brought my own coban today for after my lab work! (Coban is this great "tape"...it sticks to itself, but not to skin!) My poor arms got really sore last cycle w/ all the blood draws and then tape from holding gauze in place. So this time I decided to bring coban to eliminate the need for tape! The phlebotamist (sp?) just laughed...I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy! Haha!

The shots are still going well. The pen is so much easier than mixing meds, like we had to do last time. Tonight I'll be bringing it with me to Todd's work Christmas party and we'll have to go shoot up in the bathroom. Good thing we don't keep our IF stuff secret...people would think we were up to no good, sneaking off to the bathroom together! :)

Keep the positive vibes coming! I'm staying calm and am definitely more relaxed this cycle. It certainly helps that I have the next 6 days off work--no worries about scheduling our appts with work!

Have a great weekend everyone! I'll post again on Monday.

Love, Julie

CD 3 update

Thanks everyone for your positive vibes! Our ultrasound today was perfect! No cysts, thin lining, and my bloodwork came back fabulous!

We get to start our follistim tonight (100 units). It's been a while since I had that education with the Nurse Practitioner, so I think I'm going to have to whip out the dvd to refresh my memory. It's pretty simple, but I don't want to mess up!

We will be going back for an u/s on cd5 which is Friday. She wants to watch me super closely to make sure I don't overstimulate too quickly. We had planned on going out of town this weekend to visit with our families, but I think we're just going to have to wing it timing wise.

I feel so hopeful this cycle. I feel like everything has fallen in place, and I hope that the change of medications (menopur--fsh + lh changing to follistim--only fsh) will really help my follicles to respond better.

Please continue to send positive vibes our way!

Love,
Julie

Holy Smokes! The girls can work!

Boy, this sure has been a back and forth past few weeks! I was gearing up for my appt on Friday when, low and behold, I got AF yesterday! I had been taking my bbt (basal body temperature) for about the past year, and they clearly show anovulation. Well this month, I had higher temps than normal, and thought that I had seen the all mighty thermal shift...but I didn't get too excited, because I'd thought that in in the past too, and it was nothing. But this time my temp stayed high, and stayed high, and stayed high. I barely said a word about it b/c I was nervous I'd jinx it into falling! So yesterday (day 13 after the thermal shift), my temp dropped and as I predicted, AF showed up! I am so excited and happy about this!

It shows:
1. That I can build up enough estrogen to ovulate.
2. That I can ovulate!
3. That my luteal phase is adequate in length
4. That I can ovulate!
5. Did I mention that I ovulated??!

This is the first time I've ovulated since going off the pill 14 months ago! I'm sure that the fertility meds helped to stimulate my ovaries to wake up, but it's definitely interesting that it took them so long to ovulate (it wasn't until cd 32).

The other fabulous part of this, is that AF came on December 10th--the LAST day possible to still cycle this month! If it had come today (the 11th) I would have had to wait until next month to cycle (because my clinic is closed on the holidays).

It seems like everything is falling into place this cycle, and I'm hopeful that with medication & monitoring, I'll have success in getting a bfp!

I have my cyst check tomorrow at 9:00 AM, so I hope, hope, hope that the cyst is gone, or at least decreased in size. As long as it is, then we'll be starting meds probably tomorrow night!

Thank you so much for your positive energy. I feel so loved and am so hopeful that we're on the right track now.

Much love,
Julie

Updated start date

I talked with the Nurse Practitioner yesterday about my dilemma... If I come on for an u/s on cd35 like they asked, and the cyst is clear, and they want me to start provera to induce AF, I'll end up getting AF after the Dec 11th deadline. So we talked about it and decided I'll wait until Dec 14th to have an u/s to see if my cyst is gone. Then if it's gone, I'll get to start my provera, and would most likely start stimming just after Christmas. I gotta say--I love this Nurse Practitioner. She is so easy to talk to and genuinely cares about us.

Todd and I talked quite a bit about our experience on "anxious wednesday," as I like to call it. We decided that we are going to talk to our RE about the situation and see what we can do to not be put in that situation again. If we have to have our morning appts later in the morning so that our RE is there, and we don't have to speak to this ivf coordinator, then that's what we'll do. If we absolutely have to have her as our caregiver, we're going to politely ask her not to speculate on what's going on--that we'd rather not know until our RE calls us later in the day, after labs are back. The speculation is driving me crazy--she's been wrong 3 times now, and at this point, not knowing would be better than hearing speculation that may or may not be correct. Anyhow...I think you get my point.

Thanks for your positive "cyst be gone" vibes! We're back to the waiting game until Dec 14th. Time to breathe...do some yoga...enjoy the colorful lights in the neighborhood.

Love,

Julie

Putting the brakes on

So I had my appt yesterday to get the green light to start my provera...But I got the red light instead! :(

During the u/s, the tech measured a follicle that was 24mm big. (And remember, the biggest follie I had during my stimulation was 9mm). She says, "well it looks like you have a cyst here." She leaves the room, Todd and I look at each other, and I say, crud! I've never had a cyst before, although I know lots of other women on the Resolve board that have, so I knew that ususally you have to wait until the cyst is gone before you start stimming (meaning, taking meds that stimulate follicle growth). So we're in this room, feeling really bummed, when the nurse (who's not actually a nurse, but more of a 'coordinator') comes into the room. She says, "well it looks like you have a mature follicle." What?! Mature follicle?? I ask her how she knows it's a mature follicle and not a cyst...and basically it's hard to tell without having blood work done. So I had my estradiol level checked and left with them planning to call me with a plan after the blood work came back--either an IUI (hurray!!!!) or waiting longer to take provera (bummer!).

I had to go to work then, and spent the entire day feeling anxious waiting for this phone call. I finally called at 12pm to remind them to call me, and then again at 1pm I called again. I was feeling so anxious. I tried to keep myself calm; after all, I had not expected to have a mature follicle and was ready to start this next cycle, but the 'nurse' had given me some hope that maybe it was a mature follicle.

2pm she finally calls and says my estradiol level is too low for it to be a mature follicle. So now I have to go back in a week for another u/s to see if this cyst is gone before taking my provera. Now it looks like I won't be cycling until the end of december/beginning of january. I am so bummed. I couldn't help but cry at work after this phone call. I had been given some hope and then it was taken away so quickly. I am just so tired of having my emotions jerked around. This journey has enough ups and downs, I don't need to have more emotional turmoil unnecessarily.

So, we're back to waiting...now waiting for this cyst to go away so that I can take my provera to induce AF, to be able to start the next cycle.

I'm feeling pretty bummed...and emotionally drained.

Thanks for checking in on us. Happy Thanksgiving.

Julie