Putting the brakes on

So I had my appt yesterday to get the green light to start my provera...But I got the red light instead! :(

During the u/s, the tech measured a follicle that was 24mm big. (And remember, the biggest follie I had during my stimulation was 9mm). She says, "well it looks like you have a cyst here." She leaves the room, Todd and I look at each other, and I say, crud! I've never had a cyst before, although I know lots of other women on the Resolve board that have, so I knew that ususally you have to wait until the cyst is gone before you start stimming (meaning, taking meds that stimulate follicle growth). So we're in this room, feeling really bummed, when the nurse (who's not actually a nurse, but more of a 'coordinator') comes into the room. She says, "well it looks like you have a mature follicle." What?! Mature follicle?? I ask her how she knows it's a mature follicle and not a cyst...and basically it's hard to tell without having blood work done. So I had my estradiol level checked and left with them planning to call me with a plan after the blood work came back--either an IUI (hurray!!!!) or waiting longer to take provera (bummer!).

I had to go to work then, and spent the entire day feeling anxious waiting for this phone call. I finally called at 12pm to remind them to call me, and then again at 1pm I called again. I was feeling so anxious. I tried to keep myself calm; after all, I had not expected to have a mature follicle and was ready to start this next cycle, but the 'nurse' had given me some hope that maybe it was a mature follicle.

2pm she finally calls and says my estradiol level is too low for it to be a mature follicle. So now I have to go back in a week for another u/s to see if this cyst is gone before taking my provera. Now it looks like I won't be cycling until the end of december/beginning of january. I am so bummed. I couldn't help but cry at work after this phone call. I had been given some hope and then it was taken away so quickly. I am just so tired of having my emotions jerked around. This journey has enough ups and downs, I don't need to have more emotional turmoil unnecessarily.

So, we're back to waiting...now waiting for this cyst to go away so that I can take my provera to induce AF, to be able to start the next cycle.

I'm feeling pretty bummed...and emotionally drained.

Thanks for checking in on us. Happy Thanksgiving.

Julie